Just thought I'd post a bit to avoid homework.

So I'm an antisocial nerd, but I'm in a social club. It's sort of like a high school sorority, focusing on sisterhood, service, and social. There's about 20 different social clubs, some for girls, some for boys, among five different schools in my area. You have to try out to get into one. It was sort of an accident, me trying out. I didn't realize what I was getting myself into freshman year. My friend just asked me to try out with her, and I, having nothing to better to do, agreed. But because of my antisocial tendencies, I didn't get hazed that much because the other girls could never find me. I made it into the club, but I felt awkward and uncomfortable. It's supposed to be a sisterhood, so all the other girls were already close to each other. They were also outgoing and I guess I found them a bit intimidating. Nevertheless, with all the weekly meetings and other social events throughout the years, I found myself getting comfortable around everyone. I never really thought I would, but I became pretty close to them. They all mean a lot to me. The club's really grown on me.

I'm the president now, but it's such an awkward position for me. I don't know how to take charge and stuff at all. It makes me feel a bit out of place, to be honest.

Today was a bad day. I dropped my phone in the toilet at school during lunch; it fell out of my pocket, bounced on the seat, fell into the water, and sunk. It won't turn on now, and I feel incredibly guilty because my cousin had given me that phone. Yet, at the same time, I didn't feel very sad at all, because I knew more than I thought I would that it was just a meaningless material possession. Still, I miss it. The phone I have resorted back to absolutely sucks in comparison.

I also lost my pen in the restroom. I forgot to stay in after class to talk to my teacher like he had asked of me, and when another student reminded me the next period, I felt incredibly stupid, because I've been doing so many careless things lately. When I got home after school, I realized I forgot my keys and had to walk to my grandmother's house next door to borrow hers. Then, I had a social event with the club and thought it didn't go bad really, it gave me a headache. I also ate way too much bad stuff there.

I realize things really aren't all that bad, but I'm just frustrated with myself. I also completely bsed my essay and turned in the shortest essay I've written since elementary school (not even a page long, single spaced; in fact, this post is even longer) and I feel disappointed in myself for that. I'm really screwing myself over lately.

Today's intake:
- peanut butter banana sandwich (300)
- cereal (110)
- sandwich with ham lunchmeat (140)
- half peanut butter banana sandwich (150)
- two pices of spam masubi (500)
- two donut holes (110)
- two dumplings (90)
- half cup of coke (50)
- two mini pizzas (150)
- some chips (200)
= 1800

I realize I start off too many sentences with "I" but it's just what comes most naturally to me, don't ask why.